


Public Display of Affection

by Enide_Dear



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Ardyn sees everything in zegnautus keep, Humor, M/M, Multi, and SMUT, and involountary voyeurism, everything, he sees a lot more than he wanted to, in fact
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-19
Updated: 2018-05-19
Packaged: 2019-05-09 00:34:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14705780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enide_Dear/pseuds/Enide_Dear
Summary: In Zegnautus Keep, Ardyn sees everything and comments on everything. It's just that in his days, there were a lot less PDA and now he is really, really uncomfortable.AKA the chocobros knows how to squick out the creepy old voyeur and they are real trolls about it.Written from Ardyns point of view, litterally.





	Public Display of Affection

Oh, well look at that, you found your friend at last. All four friends reunited once more, such a wonderful feeling that must be!

Now you must drag the little gunslinger away to the safe room, he is in most dire need of getting his wounds treated, I am sure.

Yes, I suppose you could carry him bridal style to, if you must. Although I suspect this Little show is merely for your body guard to show of his strength. No need, I assure you. None knows the strenght of the Shields of Lucis better than me. 

Ah, safe at last! Safe from wandering MTs and demons for a few hours in this awful, awful place. Just don't forget that I see you, no matter where you go in here. I am always watching.

Hug it out with your friends, bask in the joy of your friendship! How long shall the four of you be together Before the evil fates tear you apart once more? Oh, it warms a heart to see such finer emotions displaid between friends.

That is quite enough hugging now, I am sure you have all gotten the message through. 

In my days it wasn't proper for a King to be quite this emotional, but I suppose the times have changed. 

And I must say, kissing your friend like that was not concidered proper, no matter how close you were....oh dear, the advisor to? Tut, tut, what would your dear departed father think of such indecent displays of affection? 

The Shield gets a kiss to? Well, at least it could be said that you are fair in your affections, my dear King. 

You will find that mathematically you have now kissed in every combination possible so lets just drop it now, shall we?

Ah, finally!

Checking your friend for wounds, how touching! Be careful though. There is no telling what internal injuried he might have sustained. 

Yes, I can see why you have to remove Prompto's shirt for the examination, but there is really no reason why the rest of you should get undressed. 

More kissing? Really, your lack of restrain is somewhat disappointing. I also fail to see why he should need to get kissed all over. You do know that 'kiss it better' is merely a saying, do you not?

Dear lords, take your pants back on this instant! There is really no need to remove them, I assure you!

I haven't seen this many bare buttocks since I accidently walked in on Commodore Highwind, High Commander Ravus and Brigardier Tummel when the Imperial laundry service had accidently misplaced their clothing and they had to meet to change them back. 

That was what they assured me they were doing. 

Although I now must wonder why the Commodore had sets of lacy thongs misplaced to each of their wardrobes and why they had to wear them to get their undergarments sorted out. 

I do hope that is some kind of massage your Shield is doing to you, although I fail to see why he needs to do so naked. Or why you need those parts massaged quite so vigourously. 

Is this how young men bond these days? I cant recall all this caressing and kissing being necessary in my days. No so much massaging of buttocks.

No. I know you royal advisors pride youselves in being prepared for everything, but I refuse to believe anyone walks into an enemy stronghold with a bottle of..is that lubrication? In their pocket. 

Dear Gods, what are you doing now?! There is absolutley no way that is going to fit in there! Cease this nonsens immediatelly....oh dear it seems it did indeed fit in there. I can't imagine that being comfortable at all. 

From the sounds it seems that you find it very comfortable indeed.

Are you....having coitus right here?! In my imperial bedbunks?! Do you have any idea how improper this is?!

Wait, all four of you at once?!

Now you are just rubbing it in!

No. Just no. I will not be subjected to such filth. I must say this has been a royal Disappointment and I refuse to particpiate any longer, even as an innocent bystander. Good night to you *gentlemen*, and good bye!

*click*

**Author's Note:**

> The style of this fic is inspired by The Gladiolus Parabel, found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10895340  
> Go read it, its is hillarious!


End file.
